I'm ready to try out a new blog; despite public opinion I did not set out to be a professional widow and I DO actually have some other worthwhile things to talk about other than death.
So, here I go.
So many people died over the holidays!
Sorry. I guess I'll have to wean myself.
But seriously. I opened my Facebook newsfeed on Christmas morning and my heart broke a little bit when I read the first two posts that popped up, saying that two of my friends had lost parents on Christmas Eve. I looked around the room at all of the wrapping paper and family members surrounding me and had a new appreciation for just waking up that morning and having the gift of health and happiness.
And then that scared me a little bit, thinking about how fleeting that can be.
I feel like I valued this Christmas more than any other in the past. So much has changed this year, but I realized the important things had remained the same. We were sitting in a new house around a different table, but we were all there. And this was not lost on me this year.
So much changes so fast. If I can be blunt, last year I was rounding up one of the worst years I had ever experienced. That was followed by a very stressful few months which resulted in a wonderful end to this year.
I truly wish I could tell my Christmas 2014 self not to worry because my Christmas 2015 self was going to make it. I only hope my Christmas 2016 self isn't wanting to come back right now to tell my Christmas 2015 self to gear up for a whopper.
Each year that we get to look around the table at the holidays and see the people we love is such a miracle; now I know why my parents are always telling me, "You don't have to get us anything" because the presents really were unimportant to me this year. Eventually children grow or people just have other things to do - or, Heaven forbid - we lose someone...and the table can change.
Take my upcoming New Year's Eve; two out of three kids have already made plans for the evening (apparently watching me fall asleep on the couch at 8 PM just isn't as entertaining as it used to be). This is the first time, but not the last, that we will be apart.
Which makes me appreciate our time together even more.
Ugh. Maybe I should have titled this new blog Yes, You're Sappy.